“I don’t feel like getting out of bed for this. I hate my job. ” - does it sound familiar?
I contemplate if I should get up at all. Always doing it at the end I prepare a cup of hot water with lemon (which used to be a black coffee not long ago). Whatever the choice of activity most of us often re-play the same scenario to get into the mood and rails of going to work.
Should it really be this way? The answer is an immediate and definitive 'No'. That surely and plainly sucks.
As a performance coach, a fan of useful thinking and nowadays a freak by choice I hate being down and living a miserable life more than anything. What's more, by now I have developed an arsenal of white rabbits which I can pull out of my hat to make things better. I usually take on the day with enthusiasm.
Nevertheless, I still I refused to accept this situation and kept thinking about it over and over again - "What needs to change" and then ... it hit me!
May be I've developed good self-control of perceptions. I know how to go into positive state when I want to. And I learnt how not to torture myself with unnecessary negativity which twists reality. But somehow I settled nicely into not taking much action this time. That realization was a kick in my own behind.
I won’t and I don't need to start liking a job JUST because I know how to control my perceptions of it. I can take the most of the experience and learn as much as possible yet this isn’t going to make me fall in love with it. Then what …?
If you are in a similar tricky situation where you catch yourself thinking: "I don’t really like it but I am well aware it is a good option, pays well and is not that bad” - then it is time to follow this 5 step plan of ACTION to take matters in your own hands.
1. Use your strong logic to find ways in which you can quit
Just as you use your logic to justify the current reality - use it to your advantage and think of ways which can help you relaistically to get away from what is no longer working for you. Well aware I am not supposed to give such directive advice, the one thing I should make clear here is: Be sure you want this and it is a positive for you! If you reached the stage where, without any drama, you just know you need to make a change then it’s time to make a plan too.
What's more, the word "quit" is the honest truth that we somehow avoid. Giving gentle, politically correct statements such as “think of what you want to do” sometimes just isn’t enough. You may need that reality push and if you can’t give this to yourself alone I am privileged to be the one that does it for you! You can handle a change!
2. Start thinking loving thoughts of your current job
I bet this sounds funny to some but it is critical! Thank your current job for everything that it has provided to you. Remember how satisfied you were when you got it. It served you well and it was an experience you learnt from. Someone else who needs it will take your place and you will make them happy. You will gracefully move on to your new adventure and lovingly let go of the “comfort” you currently find in the position. Prepare yourself mentally for leaving in an easy and pleasant way. Imagine that day and anticipate it. It doesn’t need to be difficult or stressful.
3. Set yourself a timeline for making that move
It is all well and good that you want to change your job. That you know what you want to do instead. And that you have started doing research, applying for other positions, etc. But unless you give yourself an ultimatum in the form of a time-line – chances are you will cut yourself some slack every time when things get challenging or uncomfortable.
This is especially so in the cases where your job is “not that bad and it pays well, and may be you are just a bit tired or if you wait another 3 months…”. Chose a realistic date. NOW!
4. Imagine what would it mean to stay in your current, not role, but MIND-SET…
Do the below exercise. This is the key you need in order to not give up when things get hard. Imagine vividly you decide to stay where you are at the moment. Act as you do now and feel as you feel every morning. What would life be for you in 5 years’ time with this attitude? I want you to go to a mirror in your imagination and see your reflection there. Who do you see? How do you look? How proud are you from what you’ve done to date? What is the example you give your children? How energetic and happy are you? Now imagine the effects of this decision in 10 years’ time and 20 years’ time. How does that feel?
Once you are done with this shake it off - physically. Change the way you are sitting and now do the opposite. Imagine you take the decision to take actions and responsibility for your own happiness. How did things turn out? Who do you see in the mirror? What example you give others? How proud are you of your ways of living? What is it that other people tell you? What are the implications 5, 10 and 20 years from now? Enjoy the sensations!
Now go back to the first scenario! Imagine again what it would be like if you decide to do nothing
Fully engage with this exercise. This will put things truly into perspective and give you strong motivation.
5. It is time! Start taking massive action to make it happen
Consistently engage yourself in the work you need to put into this change. Make it enjoyable and meaningful… because it is. Good luck and congratulations!