Ever wondered what's your life-purpose? Why on Earth are you waking up today? There are people who have a strong sense purpose and rarely question the meaning of their lives. The existence of a clear direction from a personal as well as professional perspective fills them and gives them a stable ground to walk on each day.
Their state is wonderful and causes others to look up to them or even envy their ‘well ordered life’.
One of the common traits shared by such individuals is the sheer joy and happiness with themselves and above all with the effort (small or big) they put in building the lives they want.
In comparison, the not so fortunate and “direction aware” among us are always demanding more from themselves without really knowing what for. A nervous, scared demand... I often hear “I need to be working more/ exercising more/ eating better/ sleeping more or less". There is always something that could be done faster or smarter, in a more efficient or less stressful way. And they are right – there is.
However, rarely if ever 80+% of those around you ... (and maybe even including you) ... are comfortable with how much they actually do for one simple reason! There is no real purpose and no point behind those efforts!
Ambitious, hard-working, good people, who despite all they are wake up in the morning with the feeling that they are merely existing and a sense of heavy unwillingness to do anything. Shortly after this morning ritual the fear of ‘not living’ and the comparison to others kicks in and they eventually get out of their beds and try yet again to do more of this or that.
Those are often some of the most successful people I know. Good careers, good financial situation, sometimes even families …
The missing piece you ask? - It is the lack of "living for someone else"!
Focusing on themselves, evaluating 24/7 what needs or must happen, thinking of their purpose, contribution, their life! All of this ultimately robs them from the ability to enjoy the purpose of doing something full-heartedly for others.
Weren't we told to ask exactly the above important questions and find the deep answers to them?- Yes, yet no. Balance and perspective seems to be often eluding us.
A friend recently was in a hard situation with a loved family member that fell very ill. Cancer. Due to circumstances she completely and entirely stopped thinking of herself.
Self-devotion to the person and everything that was happening suddenly led to the realization that she was happy… very happy… inappropriately happy ... given the gravity of the circumstances!
What really happened was that now every time she had the opportunity to spend time with her loved ones she was truly appreciative. There were no longer questions if she wanted to do this or that – everything related to the well-being of others was ‘a must’ . There was also no question on what her purpose was… or how she felt about it all. It was what it was and she just lived. It wasn’t glamorous or pleasant for that matter. It was just simple. It gave the strongest direction she had felt in a long time because it wasn’t about her – it was about something much bigger, much more important – the people she loved.
Do we need to always face hard-ship of that kind to get a sense of our own worth, place or purpose? The answer is clear and loud NO! ALL WE NEED TO DO IS THIS:
1. Be aware and deliberately think of others at least 40% of the time during the day. Thinking of others more does not in any way undermine the fact that you are just as important. However, it does put things into perspective and makes you less self-involved and happier as a result. Ask yourself:
What can I do for others?
Who can really use my help today?
Who might need and want to talk?
What can I give to my parents/ friends/ husband/wife today?
How can I improve the life of someone?
What are the questions you want to add?
2. Practice being happy with the effort you put … in general, in life. You wrote 2 emails today, made one phone call for business and exercised … 3 days ago. Your mind might scream that this is a disaster and you haven’t done enough … because look at Bill Gates, he would never be satisfied with only 2 emails!!! What about that stunning actress on the cover – do you think she exercised… 3 days ago!? Hell no… J A debilitating self-judgement destroys you for no good enough reason. … What if you looked at it from YOUR perspective for a change – not Bill Gates’? Try this – “I have wrote 2 emails and made one phone call which is what you do to connect with people! I also always try to not go out of shape even though it is not easy to fit the sport into my daily routine. Those are facts. I am doing it right indeed!”
Related article: “10 Ways to Be Happier”
How do you make your life full of excitement and a sense of direction? :) Share your thoughts.