Today is the day! To start loving a bit more, to start believing in yourself a bit more, to have faith that whatever happens it's for the best and start trusting others too.
I may not know the whole of you, but I know you may need some kind of proof and justification for statements like this. After all you and I are realists. Grounded, true to what we know, as limited as that is.
In the Bulgarian’s Orthodox calendar today is special, called Ignajden (Игнажден). In the hearts of my nation there is a strange mixture between believing in mystic as well as in God, in magic as well as in reason. I am not the one to judge. I am the one to appreciate the skepticism and massive optimism that live together all entangled with love. A combination I understand and see across oceans, lands and seas, in the eyes of people who have never known each other.
So on this day, we believe, yet again, that if good things happen, if good things we think, if good things we see … then the next year will be good. Hope with a capital ‘H’ has an official place in the calendar and that’s ... beyond wonderful, that's us, all of us, people in summary!
Today, reflecting back on the past year I can confidently say that every single person I worked with, loved, talked to, met once only… every one of them, including myself, including those who frustrated me, is fighting their fight as best as they can. I’ve seen such immense amounts of love and only love … I am humbled. I am blessed for sure. I am privileged to say the least, but I am no exception.
If you ever think that life is against you or someone has hurt you on purpose … please believe me, it isn’t true.
In our biggest fuck ups we never truly want to hurt or disappoint one another. People are sometimes weak, sometimes our timings are off, sometimes our sorrows and worries result in what seems like an intentional bad behaviour or a massive lack of consideration ... disrespect I've heard even. We may be stuck for long periods in reverse gear impacting not only us but those around. Yet NOT A SINGLE one of those I’ve ever met wanted to do it that way.
If you are ill, feeling lonely, tired, disappointed, heart-broken or angry… I am so sorry. Those are terrible things to feel and I feel for you. By no means you are a bad person for being in a state like this. Nor what you currently experience or how you act at the moment are any reflection of who you truly are. It will pass.
It always does. Things don’t work out exactly as we wanted them all the time. There is much reason for disappointment if we look for it. However, likewise, there is so much reason for being proud, feeling loved, giving love. The support people offer one another is overwhelming.
The good intentions, the advice, the humor, the intimate moments, the littlest things… they are all there for you and for me. A man keeps the door open for you; the shop-assistant doesn’t charge you for a card transaction; your friend kisses you on the cheek just because they felt like it and appreciate you; a colleague texts you to say they miss you in the office when you are off sick; your parents telling you countless times that you need to call more often… just because they love you; the partner you think doesn't care about you but makes the effort to get you flowers and waits for you at home; the man/woman you don’t want to be with that keeps being there for you; the lady that tells you her daughter tried to commit suicide twice this month yet smiles at you with sparkles in her eyes… can you see it?
I put you under no obligation to read this, believe it or do anything about it. It could be just words on paper. But if there was one thing I wanted to do is share my relentless faith (as well as reason) that love does conquer it all, you are love hence you can conquer it all.
Be it a fear of spiders or the chain of years with no romantic relationship … if you simply trust that everything around you conspires for you to be happy and OK, if you just love everything and everyone a little more (including yourself)… then you’d be free to build foundations so strong, any positive subsequent action is bound to succeed.
Have a lovely Christmas time!