Three coffees on an empty stomach. That was fun and pleasure. Half a glass of water later. Difficult decisions taken but the change is yet to happen. A mind that says it’s all gonna be ok. A body that nervously shivers. Both caffeine and air-conditioning in a cubical-like office contribute. Mild paralysis of the will to do anything mixed with gigantic need to make something happen. Overwhelmed? - No, Restless!
People say you need to know your enemy well to defeat it. Restless I though is no different.
“Unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom” – that’s how the dictionary explains it. I like the definition yet find it a bit simplistic. Why dare to question, however? For the primary reason that restlessness appears often “out of nowhere”, seems less controllable than anger/ sadness or worry and has a powerful, even if short-term, impact on the ability to think, talk or act. A ‘simple’ inability to rest surely doesn’t cause the big emotional shift that people experience when we use the word “restless”. What’s more, notice that “restless” is also not common in our day to day language. Isn’t that strange when so many would gladly associate with a person who is unable to rest due to anxiety or boredom?
No, no – restless I think is that bit more magical.
People suddenly become restless as opposed to gradually. It hits them quickly to show something and disappears as it came. It doesn’t give time for reaction or taking control of the wheel.
One day I experienced it and though this is the funniest feeling ever. A bundle of energy that doesn’t go anywhere. Uncomfortable, indeed! What should I do? What made me restless? What thoughts or events caused me to feel like a child unable to express itself properly yet having all that, that something, inside that demanded expression?
And then the dissection began. I though logic would help. Took a breath and started thinking. The second I did that – done! My restlessness was gone. Damn it! I missed it, I though. I needed a bit more time to feel what I was feeling in order to get it. But restless didn’t want to be dissected. Not everything needs explanation. What’s more - whatever answers I gave to myself – nothing was new, while the feeling itself didn’t really equate to others. What made it so weird and intriguing?
And then not my head but my heart spoke: “What restless calls for is the ability to listen with ME, the heart, from time to time. Tune in so I get the signal.”
Restless puts breaks when we get carried away and become not gentle to ourselves. It grounds us for seconds, so we could feel in the moment. Because restless is cool! It makes people think frantically, feel passionately, yet paralyses us in the moment to show - we are only here and now! Restless invites to savour the present if we can, with abruptness and a cheeky smile.
Next time you feel restless – listen with your heart. What does it tell you?
People say you need to know your enemy well to defeat it. Restlessness I think is no enemy to defeat but a voice to be heard. Individual, personal, yours ... Love Restless